What if You Had a Stroke of Insight?

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the daily grind that we forget what could or might be.

Sometimes, we get so jaded that we forget to ask, "What's my life purpose?"

Sometimes, we get so burnt out... we lose touch with each other, thus losing touch with ourselves.



What matters most?

What's the bigger picture?

What's the shared human experience?



I love this TedTalk by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor.

Check it out and share in her experience of having a stroke. And listen to the revelations it brought about.


Does such a traumatic event have to occur in order to wake up to what truly matters?

Hopefully not, or else it might be too late.

Brain Reflections

Poet Emily Dickinson once wrote:

Sparknotes translates Dickinson's poem as:

“[It's about] the mind’s capacity to absorb, interpret, and subsume perception and experience. 

The brain is wider than the sky despite the sky’s awesome size 

because the brain is able to incorporate the universe into itself,  

and thereby even to absorb the ocean. 

The source of this capacity, in this poem, is God.”

This poem makes me think about how the human brain is so complex...its capacity for understanding is so impressive.

Over the course of hundreds of millions of years, it evolved tailored by the environment, and we developed handy tools like feelings, learning, and memory. 

Then after humans evolved a questioning brain, they naturally began searching for answers to the  mysteries around them. But to what end?

In a book called Chess Metaphors, author Diego Rasskin-Gutman says,

"During the last 30 thousand years (at least), the human species has incessantly questioned its own nature and it's position within the universe—an overwhelmingly empty enterprise because of the paucity of valid answers and always led by a search for religious meaning.   

Little by little, this search has been stripped of its divine sense as attitudes evolved through the influence of the scientific community and by the transformation of societies in modern nation-states. 

Thus, a huge role has been played by scientists:

•  Copernicus and Galileo showed that we are not the center of the universe, 
• Darwin recognized the animal with our being,
• Freud placed consciousness at the center of the scientific quest,
•  and Einstein equated matter with energy and showed nature's dependence on point of view."

It's all about perspective.

And the evolution of not only our brains, but of our shared experience.

How one defines God is a very personal journey, but the collective pursuit of that definition influences our relationship with the world and our relationships with each other.

Any path taken is both personal and shared. Am I open and feel awe? Am I closed and feel fear? Am I confused?

So then why is Western society so "mum's the word" about the discovery of a higher truth in the secular context?

I very much respect Dickinson for expressing her inner reflections via poetry, like past poets Rumi and 寒山.

In Dickinson's opinion, the mind is a manifestation of God, or the individual is an instrument of God. 

[here's a little poem response dedicated to her]

----

hey, brain. 

you may be wider than the sky...

swallowing endlessly 

for total absorption

but why

resist the ocean's deafening roar

participate with silence

Then witness 

the love within 

-also boundless-

our own reflection(s).

simple reflection.

----

Why I Write

Someone asked me recently why I write this blog.

Drawn by Lesley Speed Willcockson with inspiration from Pinterest

Because it reminds me to stop and think. It's a public pledge—to remember the promises I've laid out.

Like a personal memory bank of the thoughts I have about myself and toward the world.

And there's a certain kind of freedom that comes from trusting oneself and bowing to self expression.

Many Gentle Lift posts focus on exploring the inner world. That's because I think it's critical to understand the self in order to understand other people.

It does take time: to cultivate the inspiration, to find the resources, to deliver the goods. But it's not a chore or a burden, because it's a way for me to get in touch with me, and hopefully a way to reach out to you.

yup, that's me

Gentle Lift dives into some deep topics, but I hope that my "straight arrow" writing style is at the very least a breath of fresh air in this seemingly dog-eat-dog world.

If by writing this blog, I get to know myself better—well, that makes the extra effort taste all the more sweeter.

Or maybe even inspire some readers to take a timeout... I think that would be a great thing.

Life is too short not to try.

Someone once told me, "Live in the moment, that is perhaps what the meaning of life is." I like the "perhaps" in this statement because it depends on the person. The person has to care enough to find out. Care enough to pause for a timeout. To avoid autopilot. To seize the moment.

I have a lot of respect for the kiwi in this video. Putting forth all that energy because to him, it's worth it.

How Free Is Our Will

Sometimes I wonder: am I free to make my own choices, or is my behavior determined by my genetic code? By the chemicals in my brain? By my social environment?  

Philosophers have put forth some interesting food for thought-

Do we have free will? In other words, do we act solely on our own accord? Without being forced to be influenced by others or natural law?

Or is the universe deterministic in nature? That means that every action that has occurred up to this point has its own predictable root cause, so it was all bound to happen. Therefore, our very behavior must also be deterministic.

And then there's compatibilism which argues that the concepts of free will and determinism are not mutually exclusive. Both free will and determinism can co-occur.

I like the explanation of Hume's Fork in the Oxford Dictionary of Philosophy:

"Either our actions are determined,
in which case we are not responsible for them,

Or they are the result of random events,
in which case we are not responsible for them."

We probably won't land on a definitive answer during our lifetime, but we can at least take solace in our own individual pathway. As Matt Ridley points out in his book Genome, there's at least some comfort in realizing that we are at the very least each able to express our own determinism and not somebody else's.

So while I think long and hard about how I make the choices I do, I will also remind myself to enjoy the cognitive and societal freedom (or perception of freedom) to make them.

What You Could Learn as a Monk

My best friend Aditya Prasad has been studying neuroscience and meditation for a very long time. This is a video he made summarizing his conclusions.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

How to Write Your Eulogy

Imagine this: you are in a funeral home surrounded by your friends, family and other familiar faces. It's decorated with your favorite flowers. The photo on display at the center of the room is your own. The program has your name on it. You died last week.

This exercise is from the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. 

Covey asks the reader to picture themselves at their own funeral and asks:

• What are they saying at your eulogy?

• How are they describing you?

• What kind of impact did you have on them?

Covey makes an interesting point: There are various roles we lead in life, and many relationships that we choose to foster. Do you want to be a loving parent, a prolific artist, a constructive community member, an effective activist, or a passionate  careerist? 


Keeping the end in mind might help us set our priorities today.

Covey says the next step is to take that list and actually make it real by blocking out time on the weekly calendar. How many hours, days, weeks, months, years will we put toward it? This is the true art of scheduling. 

When I did this exercise I learned that self-discovery isn't easy. It takes effort to articulate values and life goals—but they are definitely there, sometimes hidden in the subconscious. I sat down with pen and paper one day and thought long and hard about Covey's words. 

It took some time, but I pulled a few things to the surface and found the spots in my schedule to make it happen. That's why I volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters—and during my busy months when I can't devote as much time to them, I can at least spread the word,** which is just as valuable.


It's a deep question to sit with, but I'm glad I did. I straight up asked myself:

What do you want in life? And what do you plan to do about it?

**There are 600 littles on the waiting list hoping for a mentor...just in Puget Sound alone. 
Most of these children are boys who don't have a strong father figure in their lives, but there just aren't enough male volunteers. If you know someone who might be a great mentor, let them know. It doesn't take much, but it makes a huge impact. 

Namaste

As a yoga newbie, I heard the word “Namaste” a lot, but never reeeally understood what it meant.

yoga cameo in the short film Everyday is a Journey (I'm in the grey pants)

Namaste means "I bow to you.” For the fellow linguistic nerds out there, it is derived from Sanskrit and combines two words, ‘Namaḥ’ and ‘te.’ Namaḥ means 'bow' or 'adoration' and te means 'to you.'

What a poetic concept—bowing to others with admiration.

My translation is, “I open my heart and bow to the magic inside of you (which is also inside me).”

It means seeing people clearly for what they truly are…as the miracles of life. The fact that we all beat the odds to get here—from the big bang to procreation—is truly awe-inspiring! Namaste goes deeper than just understanding that fact...it means cherishing it and relishing in its beauty. I'll definitely bow to that!

“Namaste” is also a good reminder to drop stereotypes and get to know them for who they really are.

Sure, that may not always be easy. Who hasn’t come across a rude person or an awkward situation? Who hasn’t been disappointed or hurt? Sh*t happens, but I view those bumps along the road as opportunities to exercise compassion. By taking a moment to pause, breathe, and actually say Namaste, I remember that everyone has faults (especially me).

When we accept our humanness and the humanness of others we relieve ourselves from carrying an unnecessary and stressful burden. It’s liberating.

Disclaimer: exercising compassion doesn’t mean we have to like everyone’s personality or put up with abuse. We luckily have the freedom to choose the people we enjoy. We can open up and learn from everyone who crosses the path.

So, to you my wonderful reader, I bow to you. I bow to the love, magic, and beauty inside of you. From the bottom of my heart to yours…Namaste.

3-10-12 edit: A Redditor offered their own interpretation of Namaste, which I also really like. "The spirit in me, sees, acknowledges, and bows to the spirit in you." [show Redditor Frost 57 some karma]

Work Life Balance

The Energy Project

Our inner worlds are constantly shifting. Like changing weather patterns, sometimes we feel high, sometimes we feel low. On top of that, the world “out there” is in a constant flux. So how do we center ourselves and stay grounded?

The answer is work-life balance.

I devote a little attention to the fundamental areas of life: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual, to turbo charge my batteries and positively reinforce who I am.

And I don't compartmentalize—I realize that they are interconnected and neglecting one would  negatively  impact the others, affecting me overall. 

Sure it requires extra effort, but the pay off is I am more statisfied and energized to do the things that need to get done.

So how to do it? Something as little as forcing a lunch break makes a huge difference in my day, because my brain rewards me with being twice as effective and efficient once that break is over.

There's a greate quote from Teahouse of the August Moon, “I'm making peace with myself somewhere between my ambitions and my limitations. It's a step backward in the right direction.”

http://www.theenergyproject.com has a simple quiz that helps you conduct your own personal audit. Take the quiz and see if you are haphazardly sabotaging your happiness and productivity.

Instructions: for each true statement, give yourself 1 point.

Physical

1. I don't regularly get at least 7-8 hours of sleep and/or I often wake up feeling tired.
2. I frequently skip breakfast, or I settle for something that isn't particularly healthy.
3. I don't do cardiovascular training at least three times a week, and strength training at least twice a week.
4. I don't take regular breaks during the day to renew and recharge.
5. I often eat lunch at my desk, if I eat lunch at all.

Emotional

6. I frequently find myself feeling irritable, impatient or anxious at work, especially when demand is high.
7. I don't have enough time with my family and loves ones, and when I'm with them, I'm not always really with them.
8. I take too little time for the activities that I most deeply enjoy.
9. I rarely stop to express my appreciation to others or to savor and celebrate my accomplishments and blessings.
10. I often feel that my life is just a relentless set of demands I'm expected to meet and tasks I have to complete.

Mental

11. I have difficulty focusing on one thing at a time and I am easily distracted during the day, especially by email.
12. I spend much of my time reacting to immediate demands rather than focusing on activities with longer-term value and leverage.
13. I don't take enough time for reflection, strategizing and thinking creatively.
14. I rarely have any time when my mind is quiet and free of thoughts.
15. I often work on evening and weekends and/or I rarely take an email-free vacation.

Spiritual

16. I don't feel passionately committed to what I do.
17. I spend too little time at work doing what I do best and enjoy most.
18. There are significant gaps between what I say is important in my life and how I actually live.
19. My decisions at work are often more influenced by external demands than by a strong, clear sense of my own purpose.
20. I don't invest enough time and energy in making a positive difference to others and/or in the world.

Tally up the total and see where you lie:

• 17-20 Full out energy crisis
• 13-16 Imminent energy crisis
• 9-12 Significant energy deficit
• 5-8 Moderate energy deficit
• Below 5 Fully Energized

Are you satisfied with your score?

If your habits are undermining your satisfaction, why have you allowed that?

Be Your Own Hero

mctgarcia photography

I've adopted these words as a mantra to help me when my mind wanders into negativity land:

"We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, 

we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. " 

-author Tom Robbins

With so many thoughts buzzing around inside our heads, we're bound to encounter a toxic thought or two. But how do we defend ourselves from ourselves?

Case in point: it's a sad fact that chauvinistic media has distorted how women view their bodies. But both women and men ruthlessly scrutinize themselves in front of the mirror. I've heard friends say, "I look fat, I'm getting old, I'm losing my hair,” even when it couldn't be farther from the truth. This loose talk seems harmless, but it seeps into our consciousness and dissolves our self esteem without us even realizing it.

Just because a negative thought exists, that doesn't make it true. We've got to get smarter about recognizing the inner trickster...that voice that makes excuses, plays con games, and tells us that we don't measure up. When an internal bully rolls around, we've gotta stay solid in who we are and ask, “What is it that I'm trying to measure up to anyway?”

My personal negativity cleanse has paid off for me. By training myself to disregard the bad and focus on the good, it's almost second nature. My goal is to embrace it all—good and bad, to love the world, love myself, feel good sometimes, feel bad sometimes, and appreciate everything for what it is: experience. Striving to be a good person gives me inner peace and I proudly am my own hero, my own mentor, my own knight in shining armor.

Don't be a dragon; be your own inspiration. Repeat that promise to yourself and maybe even hang a reminder on the mirror. Instead of dwelling on body image, let's all open our eyes to the beautiful people we truly are.  

A Postcard from the Crossroads

Doubt is good. It makes us step back and re-evaluate. It forces a pause so we either move forward with confidence or take a detour.

Thanks to doubt, I am now at my own personal fork in the road. Almost like clockwork, it marks my fifth year in Seattle and is a couple years shy of turning thirty. So I'm taking time out to figure out what my next move will be. Should I stay or should I go? Tough to answer because my late twenties has brought renewed perspective. 


It's odd...young adulthood can be liberating or stressful. We're free to do as we please, yet under societal pressure to establish the rest of our lives: find someone to love, start a career, buy a home, have kids.

I'm focusing on my career and postponing "settling down" for as long as I can (to my parent's disappointment), but I wonder...When did you realize you were no longer an adolescent but a full-fledged adult? I don't think having a family or buying a house has anything to do with it. It has more to do with when you realize that time is finite. Teenagers think they're immortal; adults want to make every moment count.

It's funny how tradition dictates we celebrate Sweet 16 or Quinceañera when the age 30 shift is waaaay more a coming of age. It's when we ask, “What have I done so far in my life? Where do I go from here? Is this the right direction? Am I being authentic to myself?”

Thankfully age is just a number. People have and will continue to shift careers, find true love, or establish families at any age, even late in life. But it takes courage to reassess your life and change direction along the way.

I cherish the privilege to set my own course and while I can't predict where it may lead, I am inspired to travel it. And above all, I look forward to affirming that path (or changing it) at the crossroads.

Self reflection

Americans are busy. We’re busy because of our over-scheduled, hyper-networked lives. We’re under constant pressure to get things done and waging a constant war with ADD.

Tell me, what’s difference between being busy and being burned out?

I’m slowly learning that when I neglect what’s brewing inside, everything outside suffers. I’m not just talking about my productivity, but the stuff that really matters—like relationships, self-confidence and health.

Do we ever take the time to look in the mirror and ask ourselves, “What the hell are my values, what are my emotional, material and intellectual needs?”  I’m talking about dropping the charade and looking past what we’ve been conditioned to believe. I’m talking about a good reckoning with the self.  

For many of us, this is easier said than done. And then when I think I've got it all figured out, I have to work hard to remind myself. 


There are so many distractions...I find it hard to focus on what I call my values (other may call it the spirit, the qi, the self). Call it whatever you want, but if we don't acknowledge it and explore it, we won't live our lives as fully as possible.

Our belief systems and our thoughts ultimately dictate our actions, priorities and how we live our lives. So if we suppress our thoughts or emotions (or even worse never figure out our belief systems in the first place) then what kind of life can we lead? Or should I say…whose life are we leading?

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson