On Peaceful Terms

This young woman, Malala Yousafzai, sends chills of inspiration down my spine.

Check out how she comes to terms with death as she awaits her assassin from the Taliban: "Malala, just take a shoe and hit him. But then I said, if you hit a Talib with your shoe, then there would be no difference between you and the Talib."




Learn more about her: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malala_Yousafzai

Optical Delusions

An optical delusion is when you see things as you want them to be, not as they truly are. 

Humans make excuses, overlook things that shouldn't be overlooked, hold onto optimism or pessimism, fall into complacency, make assumptions, etc. etc. etc. 

It's so easy to do. 

What's not easy is looking beyond the immediate.  

Is it even possible to fully see if we come pre-programmed with years of conditioning, biases, and opinions?

After all, personal history directly impacts world view. My interpretation of the world is no one else's truth but my own. And of course, your interpretation is uniquely yours.

When we come together, it's so much easier if we work from a compassionate, loving, open, and communicative playbook. Then at least we can help each other draw—if not the right conclusion—then at least a pretty decent one. Because 2 (and more) heads are better than one.

Here's some insight from the brilliant Albert Einstein:

"A human being is part of the whole called by us 'the universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.

This delusion is kind of a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. 

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

Inner Strength trumps Outer Judgment

Photo: Mauricio Alejo

Putting my thoughts out there via this blog can sometimes feel a little daunting. It makes them real, out on an open platter for criticism or judgment. And I blush when I think about coworkers or boyfriends reading these very words.

Of course I want to put my best face forward.

Of course I want to be accepted by the people I care about.

Humans are taught social norms and expected behaviors; we often put on masks to showcase our ideal selves.

But you know what?

When it comes down to it, I don't really care. I won't let fear stop me from believing what I believe or saying what I think should be said.

Out of 7 billion people, there has got to be at least one person who feels the same way I do. And I find strength thinking about the shared human experience. The shared struggles, as well as the shared joys. When you think about all the humans deceased, living, and yet to be born... it makes my personal moments of insecurity seem like an insignificant tear drop in a vast sea.

Really, now who doesn't have complex issues to deal with? Who doesn't face pressure, expectations, unmet desires, or bumps along the road?

I ask you, reader, how do you live a life full of hope and joy, versus collapsing under the weight of so many expectations? For me, I think if I can accept my own flaws, then I can accept the flaws of others. If I can accept others, then I can accept the situations around us. If I can accept uncertainty, then I can focus on finding stable ground. I can allocate my energy toward being healthy, thinking clearly, and learning from the situation.

This is how I try to ground myself when I find myself being an emotional nutcase...when I start doubting myself or who I am:

• I write. Writing is what sets my heart on fire. It's how I express my thoughts and is my emotional release. What are your life passions? Is it math or painting or soccer or playing the guitar? Whatever allows you to relax into your own skin is always worth doing again and again. How else will you feel connected to your most passionate desires?
• I reminisce. I do this best by remembering myself as a child. I distinctly remember the 12 year old me--a hyper, free-spirited bookworm in a sunflower dress. When classmates teased me for being nerdy, my parents told me, “Bianca, one day you won't even remember their names.” By golly, mom and dad were right. I can wear that sunflower dress in a bigger size now.
• I affirm. That means shower myself with the encouragement I need. I have to believe in myself first, because if I don't... then who will? "You can do it, Bianca!"
• I remind. It might sound cheesy, but I wrote down my personal mission statement. I re-read it whenever I need to remember my life's purpose.
• I repeat "what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger." It's a popular adage for good reason.

Emotional strength is a muscle.

We have to nurture resilience so in tumultuous times, when probed and prodded by difficult challenges, we have a strong foundation.

Challenges test us and ask, "Who are you?"

Find strength in the answer.

Our future selves will be very proud for spitting back the answer with tenacity and purpose.


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Compassion for Animals

Sunday evening I sat in front of a tree to enjoy the sunset.

A fat red-bellied bird sat down on a close branch and sang to me. After a couple of minutes, he was interrupted by a distant sound. I couldn't see bird #2, but I could tell it was pretty far away.

My serenader then responded with a series of high pitched tones.

Just like an answer. 

The flow of their communications made me giggle--the exchange sounded just like a human conversation.

Something like:

Bird 1: Skwaaa Skeee Skiii Skaaa....

Bird 2: Skwaaa.

Bird 1: Skiii Skaaa?

Bird 2: Skweeee!

And so on and so forth.

Maybe I was projecting, maybe I have a strong imagination, but it sounded like they were interrupting each other and cutting each other off. At times, I could see the little bird in front of me cock his head to an angle as he listened intently.

It made me think:

Animals are so similar to humans. They have families, cultures, and feelings just like we do. They are mentally and physically a lot like us, except they lack higher brain functioning.

We should really be nicer to them.

And not put them in zoos. 

Namaste

As a yoga newbie, I heard the word “Namaste” a lot, but never reeeally understood what it meant.

yoga cameo in the short film Everyday is a Journey (I'm in the grey pants)

Namaste means "I bow to you.” For the fellow linguistic nerds out there, it is derived from Sanskrit and combines two words, ‘Namaḥ’ and ‘te.’ Namaḥ means 'bow' or 'adoration' and te means 'to you.'

What a poetic concept—bowing to others with admiration.

My translation is, “I open my heart and bow to the magic inside of you (which is also inside me).”

It means seeing people clearly for what they truly are…as the miracles of life. The fact that we all beat the odds to get here—from the big bang to procreation—is truly awe-inspiring! Namaste goes deeper than just understanding that fact...it means cherishing it and relishing in its beauty. I'll definitely bow to that!

“Namaste” is also a good reminder to drop stereotypes and get to know them for who they really are.

Sure, that may not always be easy. Who hasn’t come across a rude person or an awkward situation? Who hasn’t been disappointed or hurt? Sh*t happens, but I view those bumps along the road as opportunities to exercise compassion. By taking a moment to pause, breathe, and actually say Namaste, I remember that everyone has faults (especially me).

When we accept our humanness and the humanness of others we relieve ourselves from carrying an unnecessary and stressful burden. It’s liberating.

Disclaimer: exercising compassion doesn’t mean we have to like everyone’s personality or put up with abuse. We luckily have the freedom to choose the people we enjoy. We can open up and learn from everyone who crosses the path.

So, to you my wonderful reader, I bow to you. I bow to the love, magic, and beauty inside of you. From the bottom of my heart to yours…Namaste.

3-10-12 edit: A Redditor offered their own interpretation of Namaste, which I also really like. "The spirit in me, sees, acknowledges, and bows to the spirit in you." [show Redditor Frost 57 some karma]