Why People Act the Way They Do

me: Why do you dress up as a scary clown? him: Why do you find me scary?

We're all guilty of it...At some point or another, we've questioned/analyzed/scrutinized someone else's behavior. Probably because that person's behavior seemed (at the time), well...totally irrational.

So we ask ourselves, "What were they thinking?" or “Why did they do that?" or "How could they have done that?"

The reality is...we'll never reeeally know, because those questions are unanswerable. How could we possibly ever understand another human's motivations when so few of us even understand our own?

To even begin to scratch the surface, there are so many factors at play:

• Upbringing
• Handling change 
• Conflict resolution
• Cultural background 
• Neurons firing (or misfiring) 
• Levels of advertising/media consumption 

To make things even more complicated, there are pieces of our identities that lie deep within, maybe even hidden away from the conscious self.

Someone recently told me a good example of how this plays out. He said, “If you ask me why I bought a Mercedes Benz, I won't say it's because my ego demanded it. I won't say it because I'm probably not even aware that my ego is driving me. The logical part of my brain will step in and make me buy a used one, and that will make me feel better about the decision and distract me.”

There's also the rich tapestry of personal experience, from which springs varying interpretations of reality.  It all comes down to that fact that human experience greatly differs from person to person.

Man, are we complicated! Fully figuring each other out doesn't seem possible anytime soon (unless we learn the Vulcan Mind Meld).

But depsite all of these intricate innerworkings, what blows my mind most is how well humans get along.

We live in cities and work in corporations. We communicate, live in harmony, and create masterpieces. Humans come together for mastery and fulfillment. It seems like achieving harmonic balance in relationships enables people to do more, whereas misalignment holds us back.

I guess, in the end, we don't really need answers to those unanswerable “why” questions, because that's just the way things are. What's more important is valuing healthy relationships and working toward healthier interactions between people.

That's the sweet spot because that's where inspiration lives.

Make Healthcare Accessible

YOU have the fundamental right to see a doctor regardless of social or financial standing.

It breaks my heart to hear about single mothers who sacrifice their health to provide for their children:

• I know an amazing single mother who was struggling to get by. She prayed that she wouldn't get into an accident because healthcare was not an option. She had to take care of her son. That money had to go toward making sure he was covered... nevermind her own health.
• There's another woman who didn't see a doctor practically her entire adult life because she needed to make ends meet for her kids. In other words, she didn't get a mammogram. She died from breast cancer.

Why are we comfortable buying car insurance, but anti-health insurance? My guess why: because the financial liability is clearer in a car crash, whereas there is no immediate gratification to navigating health plans. 

And the choices we have suck. Self-bought insurance plans are too expensive for "high risk" groups (with prior existing conditions or elders) and too expensive for "healthy" groups (youngins who may not have employer health benefits).

The inequity of access is exacerbated in rural or small town America where clinical care (something as simple as a 24-hour pharmacy) is limited or non existent. Residents in these small towns have health insurance, but they don't have access to the care they need.

Recently, the Supreme Court issued a landmark decision that allows for the new healthcare law to move forward. It will hold insurance companies more accountable, lower health care costs, and improve the quality of care.

There are obviously many supportive and opposing voices around this issue and I respect everyone's opinion. And here's what I think: I fully support The Affordable Care Act because it provides better access to care. While it might not be a perfect piece of legislation, the law will provide coverage for 30 million people who otherwise have no access to insurance.

While observing the political bickering, I can't help but think how making change is not easy; it's a process. At least we're starting somewhere! We can't just stick our head in the sand and pretend like our health problems will fade away on their own.

And since we're already on topic... how about a reality check? The most common diseases today are caused by lifestyle choices and excessive consumption. Diseases which are preventative.

We will save so much money in the long run by promoting wellness and preventative medicine instead of sending people to the ER when it's already too late. And sadly, it becomes a cycle of disease, passed from generation to generation because parents teach their children to make the same poor food choices. The victims of childhood obesity suffer most because they don't know any better. This is a community issue, not just a parenting issue.

How does the community take ownership?

• By promoting health eating via healthy school lunches.
• By offering more walkable routes and green spaces in our neighborhoods.
• By caring about low-income communities where crime and high traffic deter people from physical exercise.

The health status of our country has many complicated factors and offering affordable healthcare is just one aspect (not the silver bullet) to cure our communities' public health burdens.

We have to be proactive about our health.

I assure you healthcare organizations are also doing their part to fight the spiraling costs of care. I work for Swedish the largest healthcare provider in Seattle. For the past 6 years, they have been working diligently to improve quality, reduce costs and increase access to care. Not to mention the large amount of charity care the organization provides. And I'm personally making it my mission to build new efficiencies and broaden our doctors' reach via technology.

Health is not just physical...it's mental and emotional too. Which means reducing stress is also important. So I've decided to tune out the conservative versus liberal bruhaha.

Why is our healthcare subject to the whims of controversy-lovers and drama queens?

Additional Resources:

• Here is an amazing resource from Reddit to learn about the law
• Or hear it directly from the White House here
• BTW- I should also mention that there are alternative healthcare resources for eligible low income families in metropolitan areas like Seattle like Neighborcare which is an amazing organization.

[p.s. the views expressed in this blog do not reflect that of my employer]

Death Weighs on Seattle

Seattle's been mourning over the tragic loss of our community members. It's difficult to deal with, and the grief has shaken the city. 

The only way I know how to deal with these things is with dialogue. And yes, you guessed it—this post is my platform.

First off, deep sympathies to the friends and families.

[Pause]

If we want to keep Seattle the safe, beautiful city we admire, we can't ignore violent undercurrents.

Questions come to mind: What do we know? What can we learn? And how do we prevent this? What can we do as a community to prevent meaningless hatred?

Crisis is the time to unite and reflect. It's hard when we have complex emotions to deal with, but it's also when it's most dire. It's our opportunity to uncover wisdom. 

As Deputy Police Chief Nick Metz told reporters about Cafe Racer, "In my almost 30 years in this department, I've never seen anything more horrifying and callous and cold. We as a police department, we as a city, we as a community really need to make sure that we are doing everything possible to never allow anything like this to happen again."

I don't have a solution, but I will say this: these events are showing us humanity's dark side. And it's my belief system that there's a ying to that yang.

To spread empathy.

What do I mean by empathy? Caring. As in actually caring.

Caring comes from within, it means relating to people–to one, a few and to all. It also might mean understanding that society's good is up to each individual. It could mean understanding that one's own wants can be transcended for a greater principle. 

And that one person can ultimately benefit all.

If we all can teach that to our children, and if that actually sunk in, would there still be violence over a material possessions? Or violence from fits of rage? Probably, but even the smallest snowflake could snowball.

Realism and optimisim can meet halfway. Let's honor of the victims and their families by passing along peace and kindess.  

Seattle's Weather: Rainy with a Chance of Gloom

Seattle's weather is downright predictable. It's cloudy, rainy and cold year round. And what's equally as predictable is everyone's reaction to it...especially right now as the Spring sun starts poking through, teasing us with kayak wishes and barbecue dreams. 

Naturally because it's top of mind, it instantly becomes the most popular conversation topic.

“Howya been?”

“Oh, man....this weather...”

or

“What are you doing Saturday?”

“Well, if it wasn't for this weather...”

I never know how to react because I love the weather and would rather talk about how refreshing it is, or how the plants are so green and lush. 

But my cheer usually doesn't go over well, so I've learned just to change the topic. The success rate depends on who I'm speaking with. 

After much observation, I've pinpointed the top 4 Seattle-weather-complaining-types:

• Bubbling Ragers- They take the weather personally, and they are very angry about it.

• Awkward Pause Filllers- They can't think of anything else to say. We've all been there.

• Delicate Flowers- These people are very sensitive to all external forces, the weather being one of many.

• SAD Pandas-Victims of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Warning signs include pasty skin and dark under eye shadows. Rarely seen because often hibernating.

It's fascinating that there are so many ways to hate the weather, yet it's the bond that all Seatteites share.

I don't want to complain about complaining, but let me share what comes to mind when people start ranting and raving: in human relations, there is a continuum of quid pro quo. Everyone has an effect on someone else, just like a skipping stone sends ripples across the water. If positivity and negativity are both contagious, what are we spreading when we start bitching about the skies?

Besides, it's not like Mother Nature can respond in a meaningful way anyway... Well, unless you've got the money to seed the clouds.

Yes, Seattleites, we do have the right to talk about whatever we want, and yes, I support you getting it off your chest. But I also want to remind everyone that this is one of the most literate U.S. cities AND there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the English language. Oh, imagine the convos that could be had!

The clouds may suck, but being a little proactive to satisfy personal needs could go a long way. We have to make sure we are getting the right amount of sleep, exercise, fresh air, and socializing to prevent SAD.  It's up to the individual to root out how to ease the pain—like planning a tropical island getaway, or maybe throwing an indoor luau...in which case I hope I get an invitation. ;)

Rainy or not—every day is a new day. There's only one chance to make it count.

P.S. LOVE this picture Gloom from redditor pentium4borg [karma].