On Peaceful Terms

This young woman, Malala Yousafzai, sends chills of inspiration down my spine.

Check out how she comes to terms with death as she awaits her assassin from the Taliban: "Malala, just take a shoe and hit him. But then I said, if you hit a Talib with your shoe, then there would be no difference between you and the Talib."




Learn more about her: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malala_Yousafzai

What if You Had a Stroke of Insight?

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the daily grind that we forget what could or might be.

Sometimes, we get so jaded that we forget to ask, "What's my life purpose?"

Sometimes, we get so burnt out... we lose touch with each other, thus losing touch with ourselves.



What matters most?

What's the bigger picture?

What's the shared human experience?



I love this TedTalk by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor.

Check it out and share in her experience of having a stroke. And listen to the revelations it brought about.


Does such a traumatic event have to occur in order to wake up to what truly matters?

Hopefully not, or else it might be too late.

Lessons from Our Grandparents

Recently for the first time, I saw records documenting my great grandfather's emmigration from Italy.

A million questions sprang forth: What was he like? How did he feel?

Was he outgoing and funny?

Ecccentric? Or dark and brooding?

I can picture him setting off to sea, eager for a fresh start. In my mind's eye, I see him landing in his new world and trying hard to fit in.

Eventually came his daughter, my grandmother, on the left.

This picture is—of course—worth a thousand words. But I'm more intrigued by the words that were never said.

What was she thinking at this very moment?

What was her inner world like?

Who was her friend? How did they influence each other?

And were they open to desire?

Did their society present opportunities and hope...or constraints and limitations?

My grandmother recently passed away, so she can't answer these questions now. But at the very least (in an effort to better understand the situation) I can try to re-trace her steps.

....

History is the link from her past to my present. Her generation faced the aftermath of WW1 and the great depression. A failed economy, mass migration, extensive unemployment, and increased poverty. Gloom that spread across the globe.

And I can only imagine how much more difficult it may have been for first and second generation immigrants...

...

That was a much different time. Society has changed... and the rules of the game have changed as well.

Our world is an entirely different world to make sense of. It's kinda hard to “follow in their footsteps” or “walk a mile in their shoes” when that road has long been paved into a highway. 

Think about it... today, there are more than one billion internet users. The internet represents choice and possibility.

It reminds me of the printing press from history class. Around 1440, it displaced the old way of doing things—laboriously transcribing texts—and allowed for the mass distribution of knowledge. Sometimes, technology doesn't just make our daily life easier. It also changes the way we communicate, how we obtain knowledge, and deepens our understanding of the world. It changes the fabric of who we are.

By Alte Bilder

With the passing of the older generation, my generation finds itself at an interesting crossroads.

With all that we know now about neuroscience and how influential we are on young minds, we have a moral imperative to leverage this societal shift to promote the good aspects of human nature and minimize the bad.

Sure, in 500 years perhaps anything I do in this life will be long forgotten, but any small impact I had by merely being a good person could leave some faint imprint on future people.

A radio program recently broadcast great words of wisdom from a centenarian. When asked for the most important piece of advice he'd like to pass on, he said:

“Be open to change.

Because it will happen no matter what."

Before the invention of the radio, we would have never dreamed it possible, and when it came out, a lot of people were suspicious of it. Then the same thing happened again with television—it upset a lot of people because they didn't like the direction the world was headed. But eventually people got used to it.

I can still hear his voice say, "If you accept that change is just another inevitable part of life, you'll be better off and much happier.”

 Accepting change frees our minds to promote progress.

What will our generations' legacy be?

Death Weighs on Seattle

Seattle's been mourning over the tragic loss of our community members. It's difficult to deal with, and the grief has shaken the city. 

The only way I know how to deal with these things is with dialogue. And yes, you guessed it—this post is my platform.

First off, deep sympathies to the friends and families.

[Pause]

If we want to keep Seattle the safe, beautiful city we admire, we can't ignore violent undercurrents.

Questions come to mind: What do we know? What can we learn? And how do we prevent this? What can we do as a community to prevent meaningless hatred?

Crisis is the time to unite and reflect. It's hard when we have complex emotions to deal with, but it's also when it's most dire. It's our opportunity to uncover wisdom. 

As Deputy Police Chief Nick Metz told reporters about Cafe Racer, "In my almost 30 years in this department, I've never seen anything more horrifying and callous and cold. We as a police department, we as a city, we as a community really need to make sure that we are doing everything possible to never allow anything like this to happen again."

I don't have a solution, but I will say this: these events are showing us humanity's dark side. And it's my belief system that there's a ying to that yang.

To spread empathy.

What do I mean by empathy? Caring. As in actually caring.

Caring comes from within, it means relating to people–to one, a few and to all. It also might mean understanding that society's good is up to each individual. It could mean understanding that one's own wants can be transcended for a greater principle. 

And that one person can ultimately benefit all.

If we all can teach that to our children, and if that actually sunk in, would there still be violence over a material possessions? Or violence from fits of rage? Probably, but even the smallest snowflake could snowball.

Realism and optimisim can meet halfway. Let's honor of the victims and their families by passing along peace and kindess.  

How to Write Your Eulogy

Imagine this: you are in a funeral home surrounded by your friends, family and other familiar faces. It's decorated with your favorite flowers. The photo on display at the center of the room is your own. The program has your name on it. You died last week.

This exercise is from the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. 

Covey asks the reader to picture themselves at their own funeral and asks:

• What are they saying at your eulogy?

• How are they describing you?

• What kind of impact did you have on them?

Covey makes an interesting point: There are various roles we lead in life, and many relationships that we choose to foster. Do you want to be a loving parent, a prolific artist, a constructive community member, an effective activist, or a passionate  careerist? 


Keeping the end in mind might help us set our priorities today.

Covey says the next step is to take that list and actually make it real by blocking out time on the weekly calendar. How many hours, days, weeks, months, years will we put toward it? This is the true art of scheduling. 

When I did this exercise I learned that self-discovery isn't easy. It takes effort to articulate values and life goals—but they are definitely there, sometimes hidden in the subconscious. I sat down with pen and paper one day and thought long and hard about Covey's words. 

It took some time, but I pulled a few things to the surface and found the spots in my schedule to make it happen. That's why I volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters—and during my busy months when I can't devote as much time to them, I can at least spread the word,** which is just as valuable.


It's a deep question to sit with, but I'm glad I did. I straight up asked myself:

What do you want in life? And what do you plan to do about it?

**There are 600 littles on the waiting list hoping for a mentor...just in Puget Sound alone. 
Most of these children are boys who don't have a strong father figure in their lives, but there just aren't enough male volunteers. If you know someone who might be a great mentor, let them know. It doesn't take much, but it makes a huge impact. 

NOW is the Time

The year end holidays are the most opportune time to express our love. What better moment than this to dig deep and pick up the phone?

It might be hard - people are busy, it might be awkward, we might not know what to say.

But in the grand scheme of things, those little doubts, fears and worries are insignificant.  I recently received tragic news from my best friend. Her little niece passed away without warning. When I heard, I was numb from shock. No words can express the pain or grief. And instead of answers, we are just left with questions.

 Death is life's most sobering lesson. My mind keeps going back to a song by The Flaming Lips called "Do You Realize?" Give it a listen and you'll hear the lyrics:

"Do you realize - that everyone you know someday will die?
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
let them know that life goes fast
it's hard to make the good times last.
You realize the sun doesn't go down
it's an illusion caused by the world spinning round."

I'm not trying to put a damper on the cheery holiday season, but I need to put things into perspective. During the  holidays, we owe it to ourselves and to each other to cherish these moments with every fiber within our beings.

 In memory of my friend's niece, our little angel, let's honor life through love.

Whoever we spend these holidays with - make it count. The same goes for anyone spending the holidays "alone" - you are not alone, you are with yourself. And you, yourself, should be equally as cherished.

 NOW is the time to say "I love you." Let's open our hearts and find the love and then verbalize it. Let's say it to our families, our friends, to ourselves in the mirror. Let's say it to whoever we can. While we can.