endless opportunities / finite time

Readers, I've neglected Gentlelift.

I've neglected my life passion--connecting to the world via writing.

Sad because there's something personally therapeutic about exposing the innermost thoughts of my conscious. Pulling out the ideas from the bottom of my soul and sharing them with whoever dares to care.  

To some it may seem voyeuristic. To me, it feels like I'm just bringing to light something we've all thought once before or might be turning over already in the backs of our mind.

Some people say it's better to leave things unsaid...

But now, based on personal experience at work, transparency is truly the fasted method toward progress. 

Two heads are better than one, right? 

And what if even more?

Just imagine the possibilities when brilliant minds unite.

OK, so I feel I owe an explanation as to my whereabouts: work, love, distractions, attachments, etc. etc.  

I can make valid excuses.

The main (classic) excuse being that there's only so much time in the day.

Yes, we have a finite amount of time. Which means the decision as to how to spend that finite amount of time becomes immensely important.

So important, that sometimes people shut down and avoid it altogether.

Why else would people waste so much time arguing, worrying, running around in circles...? When there are miracles to behold and endless opportunities to pursue. Or maybe there's no pursuit at all because you've already attained what you've always had from the start.

So fast forward, 

and at the end we might reflect on how we spent this time.

Maybe it was time spent writing, or running, or watching sunsets, or looking deeply into someone's eyes, or striving for perfection, or writing blogs?

But at least it was time spent together, 

with me writing these words and you reading them. 

As long as it was also spent smiling, 

laughing, 

reconnecting, 

and living life to whatever you deem to be the fullest. 

And digging down deep into one's soul and pulling out whatever might need to be pulled out. 

Hopefully it was spent loving all life's creatures, and feeling grateful for being alive!

was it spent...

was it spent well....

was it spent willfully well... ?

Why I Write

Someone asked me recently why I write this blog.

Drawn by Lesley Speed Willcockson with inspiration from Pinterest

Because it reminds me to stop and think. It's a public pledge—to remember the promises I've laid out.

Like a personal memory bank of the thoughts I have about myself and toward the world.

And there's a certain kind of freedom that comes from trusting oneself and bowing to self expression.

Many Gentle Lift posts focus on exploring the inner world. That's because I think it's critical to understand the self in order to understand other people.

It does take time: to cultivate the inspiration, to find the resources, to deliver the goods. But it's not a chore or a burden, because it's a way for me to get in touch with me, and hopefully a way to reach out to you.

yup, that's me

Gentle Lift dives into some deep topics, but I hope that my "straight arrow" writing style is at the very least a breath of fresh air in this seemingly dog-eat-dog world.

If by writing this blog, I get to know myself better—well, that makes the extra effort taste all the more sweeter.

Or maybe even inspire some readers to take a timeout... I think that would be a great thing.

Life is too short not to try.

Someone once told me, "Live in the moment, that is perhaps what the meaning of life is." I like the "perhaps" in this statement because it depends on the person. The person has to care enough to find out. Care enough to pause for a timeout. To avoid autopilot. To seize the moment.

I have a lot of respect for the kiwi in this video. Putting forth all that energy because to him, it's worth it.

Make Healthcare Accessible

YOU have the fundamental right to see a doctor regardless of social or financial standing.

It breaks my heart to hear about single mothers who sacrifice their health to provide for their children:

• I know an amazing single mother who was struggling to get by. She prayed that she wouldn't get into an accident because healthcare was not an option. She had to take care of her son. That money had to go toward making sure he was covered... nevermind her own health.
• There's another woman who didn't see a doctor practically her entire adult life because she needed to make ends meet for her kids. In other words, she didn't get a mammogram. She died from breast cancer.

Why are we comfortable buying car insurance, but anti-health insurance? My guess why: because the financial liability is clearer in a car crash, whereas there is no immediate gratification to navigating health plans. 

And the choices we have suck. Self-bought insurance plans are too expensive for "high risk" groups (with prior existing conditions or elders) and too expensive for "healthy" groups (youngins who may not have employer health benefits).

The inequity of access is exacerbated in rural or small town America where clinical care (something as simple as a 24-hour pharmacy) is limited or non existent. Residents in these small towns have health insurance, but they don't have access to the care they need.

Recently, the Supreme Court issued a landmark decision that allows for the new healthcare law to move forward. It will hold insurance companies more accountable, lower health care costs, and improve the quality of care.

There are obviously many supportive and opposing voices around this issue and I respect everyone's opinion. And here's what I think: I fully support The Affordable Care Act because it provides better access to care. While it might not be a perfect piece of legislation, the law will provide coverage for 30 million people who otherwise have no access to insurance.

While observing the political bickering, I can't help but think how making change is not easy; it's a process. At least we're starting somewhere! We can't just stick our head in the sand and pretend like our health problems will fade away on their own.

And since we're already on topic... how about a reality check? The most common diseases today are caused by lifestyle choices and excessive consumption. Diseases which are preventative.

We will save so much money in the long run by promoting wellness and preventative medicine instead of sending people to the ER when it's already too late. And sadly, it becomes a cycle of disease, passed from generation to generation because parents teach their children to make the same poor food choices. The victims of childhood obesity suffer most because they don't know any better. This is a community issue, not just a parenting issue.

How does the community take ownership?

• By promoting health eating via healthy school lunches.
• By offering more walkable routes and green spaces in our neighborhoods.
• By caring about low-income communities where crime and high traffic deter people from physical exercise.

The health status of our country has many complicated factors and offering affordable healthcare is just one aspect (not the silver bullet) to cure our communities' public health burdens.

We have to be proactive about our health.

I assure you healthcare organizations are also doing their part to fight the spiraling costs of care. I work for Swedish the largest healthcare provider in Seattle. For the past 6 years, they have been working diligently to improve quality, reduce costs and increase access to care. Not to mention the large amount of charity care the organization provides. And I'm personally making it my mission to build new efficiencies and broaden our doctors' reach via technology.

Health is not just physical...it's mental and emotional too. Which means reducing stress is also important. So I've decided to tune out the conservative versus liberal bruhaha.

Why is our healthcare subject to the whims of controversy-lovers and drama queens?

Additional Resources:

• Here is an amazing resource from Reddit to learn about the law
• Or hear it directly from the White House here
• BTW- I should also mention that there are alternative healthcare resources for eligible low income families in metropolitan areas like Seattle like Neighborcare which is an amazing organization.

[p.s. the views expressed in this blog do not reflect that of my employer]

What You Could Learn as a Monk

My best friend Aditya Prasad has been studying neuroscience and meditation for a very long time. This is a video he made summarizing his conclusions.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Death Weighs on Seattle

Seattle's been mourning over the tragic loss of our community members. It's difficult to deal with, and the grief has shaken the city. 

The only way I know how to deal with these things is with dialogue. And yes, you guessed it—this post is my platform.

First off, deep sympathies to the friends and families.

[Pause]

If we want to keep Seattle the safe, beautiful city we admire, we can't ignore violent undercurrents.

Questions come to mind: What do we know? What can we learn? And how do we prevent this? What can we do as a community to prevent meaningless hatred?

Crisis is the time to unite and reflect. It's hard when we have complex emotions to deal with, but it's also when it's most dire. It's our opportunity to uncover wisdom. 

As Deputy Police Chief Nick Metz told reporters about Cafe Racer, "In my almost 30 years in this department, I've never seen anything more horrifying and callous and cold. We as a police department, we as a city, we as a community really need to make sure that we are doing everything possible to never allow anything like this to happen again."

I don't have a solution, but I will say this: these events are showing us humanity's dark side. And it's my belief system that there's a ying to that yang.

To spread empathy.

What do I mean by empathy? Caring. As in actually caring.

Caring comes from within, it means relating to people–to one, a few and to all. It also might mean understanding that society's good is up to each individual. It could mean understanding that one's own wants can be transcended for a greater principle. 

And that one person can ultimately benefit all.

If we all can teach that to our children, and if that actually sunk in, would there still be violence over a material possessions? Or violence from fits of rage? Probably, but even the smallest snowflake could snowball.

Realism and optimisim can meet halfway. Let's honor of the victims and their families by passing along peace and kindess.  

It's Perceiving Time

How do we perceive the passage of time?

There's no quantum leap from childhood to adulthood. We experience millisecond after millisecond...even right...

NOW.

How we visually imagine the continual flow of those seconds can invoke a wide range of emotion. Busy people think time moves too fast. Some people feel time speeding up or slowing down by life stage. And a ticking clock often symbolizes deadlines, due dates, or new beginnings. 

Can we truly define the nature of time? Einstein said, "People like us who believe in physics know that the distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubborn persistent illusion."

Only one thing is certain: how we feel about it, how we interpret it, and how we spend it varies by person and by culture.

Are you ready to explore the illusion?

If yes, then fire up some candles, turn off the lights, get comfortable. Listen to this radio segment called the "Time Kaleidoscope."

How to Write Your Eulogy

Imagine this: you are in a funeral home surrounded by your friends, family and other familiar faces. It's decorated with your favorite flowers. The photo on display at the center of the room is your own. The program has your name on it. You died last week.

This exercise is from the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. 

Covey asks the reader to picture themselves at their own funeral and asks:

• What are they saying at your eulogy?

• How are they describing you?

• What kind of impact did you have on them?

Covey makes an interesting point: There are various roles we lead in life, and many relationships that we choose to foster. Do you want to be a loving parent, a prolific artist, a constructive community member, an effective activist, or a passionate  careerist? 


Keeping the end in mind might help us set our priorities today.

Covey says the next step is to take that list and actually make it real by blocking out time on the weekly calendar. How many hours, days, weeks, months, years will we put toward it? This is the true art of scheduling. 

When I did this exercise I learned that self-discovery isn't easy. It takes effort to articulate values and life goals—but they are definitely there, sometimes hidden in the subconscious. I sat down with pen and paper one day and thought long and hard about Covey's words. 

It took some time, but I pulled a few things to the surface and found the spots in my schedule to make it happen. That's why I volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters—and during my busy months when I can't devote as much time to them, I can at least spread the word,** which is just as valuable.


It's a deep question to sit with, but I'm glad I did. I straight up asked myself:

What do you want in life? And what do you plan to do about it?

**There are 600 littles on the waiting list hoping for a mentor...just in Puget Sound alone. 
Most of these children are boys who don't have a strong father figure in their lives, but there just aren't enough male volunteers. If you know someone who might be a great mentor, let them know. It doesn't take much, but it makes a huge impact. 

Self reflection

Americans are busy. We’re busy because of our over-scheduled, hyper-networked lives. We’re under constant pressure to get things done and waging a constant war with ADD.

Tell me, what’s difference between being busy and being burned out?

I’m slowly learning that when I neglect what’s brewing inside, everything outside suffers. I’m not just talking about my productivity, but the stuff that really matters—like relationships, self-confidence and health.

Do we ever take the time to look in the mirror and ask ourselves, “What the hell are my values, what are my emotional, material and intellectual needs?”  I’m talking about dropping the charade and looking past what we’ve been conditioned to believe. I’m talking about a good reckoning with the self.  

For many of us, this is easier said than done. And then when I think I've got it all figured out, I have to work hard to remind myself. 


There are so many distractions...I find it hard to focus on what I call my values (other may call it the spirit, the qi, the self). Call it whatever you want, but if we don't acknowledge it and explore it, we won't live our lives as fully as possible.

Our belief systems and our thoughts ultimately dictate our actions, priorities and how we live our lives. So if we suppress our thoughts or emotions (or even worse never figure out our belief systems in the first place) then what kind of life can we lead? Or should I say…whose life are we leading?

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Go to the corner

Remember when taking timeout used to be a punishment? In third grade, fun resulted in a frown, a demerit, and a lonely corner. 

Now at 28, I revel in a simple timeout. Sometimes after work, I take 10 minutes to sit on a pillow on the floor in my room's corner. It’s a strange form of punishment—to sit there and do nothing. It's almost like I'm back in the third grade. 

But those timeouts make the rest of my day better. My mood better. 

Why?

Sure, there are MANY factors at play... having to do with psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, biology, wellness, consciousness. 

But almost none of the logical explanations really matter to me, because it just IS. 

And thus the inspiration for this blog. I feel extremely lucky because I am uncovering for myself what "living in the moment", "authentic living," "being present" exactly means to me. And I'm realizing the more I make the time—to timeout—the more I feel at peace with myself and my life. 

My friends describe me as an optimist, a happy-go-lucky gal.  My boss Joe once said, "If we could just bottle up whatever is in your brain and sell it, we could be very rich people." I take those as huge compliments.

I just learned the more love I put out, the more love I get back. It's been life changing to have so many amazing, interesting and inspiring people around me in support. So I’m embarking on a journey to learn more about the art of living life. And I want to share it with the people around me—not to support me, but maybe to offer support outward.

Interconnectedness through joie de vivre? Sounds possible to me.