The Ultimate Release

What if you could instantly free yourself from all personal hang ups? In other words...

With one finger snap, you could instantly undo any past mistakes. Melt away any regret, any pain.

What would you gain? What might you lose?

Would you hit that reset button?

What an opportunity! First, my mind raced to all the amazing things I could do free from anxiety and defense mechanisms. I'd have fresh eyes for any situation, try everything, and master anything.

Sounds perfect!

But...wait. There's a catch.

If I deleted all my past mistakes and the grief that went along with it, who would I be?

Life unfurls as a series of continuous moments. There wasn't a huge leap from childhood to now. That includes every single moment... both the happy and the sad.

Looking back, the biggest challenges I've faced have been the most rewarding gateways for personal growth. If I hit that reset button, I would be a shadow of who I am today.

That's when I realized the truest “ultimate release” can't come from erasing (or denying) the past.

A real release comes from tearing down the walls that have been built up and embracing our toughest moments. It means visiting the darkest corners of our soul to examine what we've learned. And celebrating the resilience, strength and wisdom that goes along with it.

When we see our true nature clearly, then we realize that we are perfect just the way we are. 

Clear Vision

My buds at Rivet & Sway launched their site today. I adore their eyeware, so when they asked me to model glasses for them, I jumped at the chance.

One particular pair (Kairos) has a special place in my heart because of it's description—it's so suitable for Gentle Lift. Let me share it with you:

What a concept – Kairos.

Wikipedia says:

"Kairos was central to the Sophists, who stressed the rhetor's ability to adapt to and take advantage of changing, contingent circumstances. In Panathenaicus, Isocrates writes that educated people are 'those who manage well the circumstances which they encounter day by day, and who possess a judgment which is accurate in meeting occasions as they arise and rarely misses the expedient course of action."

Love the concept of rising to the occasion. In my line of work, I encounter complex challenges on a daily basis. As I try to navigate unchartered territory, stress doesn't enter the equation. My mantra is simply "assess the situation as it unfolds." My confidence comes from my team because I know we'll find success if we try our best to understand. Yes, there's learning, yes, there's knowledge. But the most important goal is understanding.

Understand what exactly? To quote author David Wallechinsky, “Behind every scientific discovery, every engineering feat, every movie, every song or work of art, and every historical event are human beings. The human beings, real people just like the ones we see every day, achieved their results by thinking, working, and consulting with others.” I think it's a pretty darn useful to seek to understand other people, as well as our selves. It means understanding the world around us, and the world inside.

How? By opening our eyes and asking the right questions. Sorta like a pair of glasses. Our vision tends to blur over time with age. But we wear corrective lenses. Our trusty glasses can put the world into focus and we then see things we never dreamed possible.

Why the effort? Because, we are faced with so many choices. Clear vision helps gives us the power to select the best course of action given the situation at hand. The the value of clarity is a positive result.

Anyway, this post's call to action is not to buy glasses (although you could do that too). It's to explore the world around us, ask questions, and never lose our childish curiosity. That's why I try to study other religions, cultures, histories. It's the only way to understand this crazy beautiful world and the crazy beautiful people in it.

And yes, I do firmly believe we should all look hella stylish doing it. Check out Rivet & Sway. ;) 

Mlodinow on the Power of the Subliminal Mind

Last night I attended a lecture by physicist/author Leonard Mlodinow who described just how little control we actually have on our perception, behavior, memory, and social judgment.

Thanks to groundbreaking discoveries in neuroscience, scientists are learning that the human mind relies on subliminal processes.

Or in other words: we make decisions without realizing we are making them.

Think about the implications this has on our work, attitudes, and relationships!

The best part was how he structured his talk: with audience participation he ran interactive exercise after exercise showing people just how easily he could manipulate their choices by using anchoring techniques or visual imagery. He showed us how our retinas actually don't pick up all the visual details we think we see, and how our memories are not a perfect recording of the past. 

He also articulated how our sense of self is an evolutionary trait that developed to help us overcome adversity.

It was quite entertaining to hear the audience's reactions—gasps of disbelief.

We assume that human beings are born with the ability to perceive the world accurately. We have instincts like how to eat food, track visuals, and avoid danger. Then we inherit education, culture and history from our ancestors. Mash all of this together with our philosophies, stereotypes, and social constructs and...voila! You have a creature grasping at straws, trying to make sense of this glorious and mysterious thing called life.

I am so happy that in today's modern scientific and technological world, there are creative and inspired souls developing the tools we need to learn more about ourselves and each other.

As humans, we should all strive to learn more about ourselves. It's the best way to help one another and future generations.

I always like to remind myself, "I don't know what I don't know."

“These submilinal aspects of everything that happens to us may seem to play very little part in our daily lives. But they are the almost invisible roots of our conscious thoughts.” - Carl Jung

Be sure to check out his book Subliminal to learn more. 

And to get a flavor of his lecture, check out excerpts from a similar talk he gave to the Secret Science Club. 

Namaste

As a yoga newbie, I heard the word “Namaste” a lot, but never reeeally understood what it meant.

yoga cameo in the short film Everyday is a Journey (I'm in the grey pants)

Namaste means "I bow to you.” For the fellow linguistic nerds out there, it is derived from Sanskrit and combines two words, ‘Namaḥ’ and ‘te.’ Namaḥ means 'bow' or 'adoration' and te means 'to you.'

What a poetic concept—bowing to others with admiration.

My translation is, “I open my heart and bow to the magic inside of you (which is also inside me).”

It means seeing people clearly for what they truly are…as the miracles of life. The fact that we all beat the odds to get here—from the big bang to procreation—is truly awe-inspiring! Namaste goes deeper than just understanding that fact...it means cherishing it and relishing in its beauty. I'll definitely bow to that!

“Namaste” is also a good reminder to drop stereotypes and get to know them for who they really are.

Sure, that may not always be easy. Who hasn’t come across a rude person or an awkward situation? Who hasn’t been disappointed or hurt? Sh*t happens, but I view those bumps along the road as opportunities to exercise compassion. By taking a moment to pause, breathe, and actually say Namaste, I remember that everyone has faults (especially me).

When we accept our humanness and the humanness of others we relieve ourselves from carrying an unnecessary and stressful burden. It’s liberating.

Disclaimer: exercising compassion doesn’t mean we have to like everyone’s personality or put up with abuse. We luckily have the freedom to choose the people we enjoy. We can open up and learn from everyone who crosses the path.

So, to you my wonderful reader, I bow to you. I bow to the love, magic, and beauty inside of you. From the bottom of my heart to yours…Namaste.

3-10-12 edit: A Redditor offered their own interpretation of Namaste, which I also really like. "The spirit in me, sees, acknowledges, and bows to the spirit in you." [show Redditor Frost 57 some karma]

Catching life's curve balls

Let me share my greatest lesson from 2011: The joy of catching life's curve balls. With life's ups and downs, sometimes not getting what we want is a wonderful stroke of luck. 

There is a Chinese proverb 塞翁失馬 about a man who lost his horse (bad news), but then the horse returned with another beautiful horse (good news). Sadly, his son fell off the new horse and broke his leg (bad news) and couldn't get recruited into the army because of his injury (more bad news). During his recovery time, war broke out and most of the soldiers died in the war (horrific news), however since his son was safe at home with a broken leg he maintained his life (a blessing!). 

The moral of the story is there is no such thing as good news or bad news, just the ebb and flow of life. 

When misfortune strikes, I know first hand how easy it is to get caught up in a web of disappointment, frustration, and sadness. But I've learned a very important 4-letter word: next. As in, "This job ended? NEXT!" or "This relationship ended? NEXT!"

Change is constant. Everything has a life cycle–birth, existence, and death. When it comes time to let go of something or someone you cherish, there's no getting around the pain. But people who are loving, optimistic, and grateful will always rise above. They have the strength to seize the opportunity and catch that wild curve ball.

In honor of 塞翁失馬, I dug up a picture from Halloween 2006 a week after I moved to Seattle. I had never been to Seattle, but the move was encouraged by my wonderful friend Lauren who promised I would love it.  That Halloween, I was a Cowgirl to honor my hometown San Antonio, Texas, and Lauren dressed as my noble steed. 5 years later after going through both good times and bad, I am exactly where I need to be.  Which proves you never know what gifts your horse may bring. 

Maybe Math Ain't So Bad After All

Learning is not so much about obtaining new facts, but rather discovering new ways of thinking, or pushing yourself beyond what you already know.  

When lived in Taipei and studied Mandarin Chinese intensively, I never felt so mentally sharp and on. I guess my brain was working overtime being immersed and that forced me to adapt…quickly.  

Fast forward to now. I’m looking for a new way to stretch my mind. Instead of learning something new entirely, I’m toying with a different idea: push my math limits.

Yep, I’ve never been a math girl; I’m more of the creative type. I was just never motivated as a kid—it just always seemed so boring and unforgiving. I couldn’t stand the fact that you’re either right or wrong and that’s it.

But I’m starting to change my mind about math because of its role in physics. I love how scientists discovered planets similar to Earth by using a telescope and math (the radial velocity technique where they figure out the size and mass of a planet by alterations to its orbit due to gravity).

Math’s evolution is poetic. It took generations to build a foundation and then expand from there—and according to this Radio Lab, math is not innate. Someone first invented counting, and then someone else found negative numbers, and then came fractions, imaginary and irrational numbers and more. As society and our thinking evolved, so did mathematical patterns.  

Fast forward to now. We’re at the point of turning our heads toward space and finding new uses for math.  It’s all about pushing the boundaries of what we know, and looking at challenges with optimism. And that’s not boring at all.

So it’s hard to hate math like I used to. A little optimism and a good eraser make all the difference.