Traces Left Behind / Finding the Right Track

A happy "little" at Big Brothers Big Sisters' annual picnic

We pass down so much more to our children than just genetic makeup like eye or hair color. We also pass on habits, modes of being, and even ways of viewing the world.

The term “transgenerational inheritance” means we literally pass on our burdens biologically. Studies show that a trauma survivor (like a Holocaust survivor for example) has a greater probability of passing on a gene mutation that inhibits serotonin production. Serotonin is a hormone popularly associated with happiness, and an imbalance could lead to depression. It may be hard to believe, but even symptoms of PTSD are inheritable.

Children are so impressionable. Character traits are inheritable too. Ever notice how children are sponges to glances, gestures, and words? They most likely don't understand the complex reasons behind it, but they still mimic the behavior because it's the status quo.

Volunteering with Big Brothers BigSisters has opened my eyes to the impact adults have on children. There's a little boy in the program whose father was incarcerated. Before joining Big Brothers Big Sisters, Adam thought he was destined for the same fate. Like father, like son, so to speak. But after bonding with a positive mentor in the program, Adam now has a new lease on life! His Big Brother showed him that he is in command of charting his own destiny. And Adam wants to repay the favor by becoming a big brother too one day.

Children in Big Brothers Big Sisters were at one time labeled by the school system as “at-risk.” Were they inherently destined for failure? Not at all. They just needed a helping hand.

It takes a lot of strength to build resilience. I guess after a lot of doors closing shut, it's hard to believe that there's an open door waiting somewhere. In order to muster up the courage needed to find it, you have to first realize that it even exists.

Natural philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said,

"Treat people as if they were

what they ought to be

and you help them to become

what they are capable of being."

In other words, never lower your expectations of people. That's why I'm dedicated to holding myself and our society to a higher standard. In order for our society to advance in a positive direction, we need to ask tough questions: How to break the cycle of poverty? How to end abuse? How to empower at-risk children? Is it possible to decrease the amount of suffering in the world?

Many people blow these questions off. They think they aren't worth asking because the answers are impossible. But I bet no one in the 17^th century ever thought it would be possible to go to the moon.

One of my favorite songs is John Lennon's Imagine:

“Imagine there's no heaven

It's easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people living for today

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people living life in peace

You, you may say

I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

I hope some day you'll join us

And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions

I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger

A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people sharing all the world

You, you may say

I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

I hope some day you'll join us

And the world will live as one”

In this song, Lennon reveals an ultimate truth: the first step toward greatness is first imagining that greatness is possible. I can see a future world where we encourage sharing, giving, and cooperation. I can feel a world where every child is taught to believe in themselves.

I started this blog talking about inheriting pain, but I'll end it by trying to pass on a little beauty. A better way is possible. It starts with each of us. When we hold ourselves and each other to a higher standard, we give a great gift to the next generation.

When faced with a choice, always choose love. Choose to inherit love, and choose to pass it on.

Watch Samsara and Baraka

I just watched the non-narrative film Samsara directed by Ron Fricke.

There is no plot, no storyline, no actors.

I can only describe it as a visual journey that inspires the imagination and thinking.  And it's absolutely stunning.

Watch it, and you'll be shown the world in a new way...a way that might even reinvigorate your perception of it. 

While waiting for it to arrive at a theater near you, check out Fricke's first documentary Baraka online for free. It has a slightly different theme, but I'll leave it up to you to make the comparison. 

Gettin' Back to Nature

Ahhh...the joys of modern industrialized life. There's even a meme that pokes fun at how spoiled we are:

As time passes, our world becomes more urbanized...and what's not urbanized becomes suburbanized. There are more buildings, vehicles, pollution, and fewer outdoor communal spaces. With all the privilege and convenience, I wonder: are we losing touch with nature?

Nature and humans used to share a deep bond. Aside from the fact that nature provides life force, the simple act of observing the natural world has driven math and science. It has inspired us to think and question why things happen the way they do—take great thinkers like DaVinci or Darwin for example. And with physics, humans have come up with some answers.

For me, long hikes teach me to appreciate and understand the value of life on earth. Enjoying nature—and soaking it all in—awakens my senses to the beauty of the trees, water, mountains, sky, and critters. Have you ever just layed on the grass and observed how the trees move in the wind? Those are my moments of zen.

But I'll admit, Seattle spoils me with easy to access gorgeous scenes from Mount Rainier to the Olympics.   

At Crystal Mountain with my best ski buddy/trad climber extraordinaire Lindsey. 

For my friends out there surrounded by the urban jungle, get creative. Go to a park or place a bird feeder at your window. Got any vacation time? May I suggest a couple of the most majestic places Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon.

The goal is to immerse ourselves in nature's grandeur. It's easy to fall in love with the outdoors, the hard part is just allocating the time and making it happen. But for me personally, it's worth it. Nature is our greatest gift, a gift we owe to ourselves, and a gift meant for sharing.  

Be Your Own Hero

mctgarcia photography

I've adopted these words as a mantra to help me when my mind wanders into negativity land:

"We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, 

we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. " 

-author Tom Robbins

With so many thoughts buzzing around inside our heads, we're bound to encounter a toxic thought or two. But how do we defend ourselves from ourselves?

Case in point: it's a sad fact that chauvinistic media has distorted how women view their bodies. But both women and men ruthlessly scrutinize themselves in front of the mirror. I've heard friends say, "I look fat, I'm getting old, I'm losing my hair,” even when it couldn't be farther from the truth. This loose talk seems harmless, but it seeps into our consciousness and dissolves our self esteem without us even realizing it.

Just because a negative thought exists, that doesn't make it true. We've got to get smarter about recognizing the inner trickster...that voice that makes excuses, plays con games, and tells us that we don't measure up. When an internal bully rolls around, we've gotta stay solid in who we are and ask, “What is it that I'm trying to measure up to anyway?”

My personal negativity cleanse has paid off for me. By training myself to disregard the bad and focus on the good, it's almost second nature. My goal is to embrace it all—good and bad, to love the world, love myself, feel good sometimes, feel bad sometimes, and appreciate everything for what it is: experience. Striving to be a good person gives me inner peace and I proudly am my own hero, my own mentor, my own knight in shining armor.

Don't be a dragon; be your own inspiration. Repeat that promise to yourself and maybe even hang a reminder on the mirror. Instead of dwelling on body image, let's all open our eyes to the beautiful people we truly are.